Sure, it is nice for your partner to treat you to a romantic night out or an exciting excursion, but grandiose romantic gestures aren't always necessary for a healthy relationship. Over time, small and simple habits and considerations are what can have a positive impact on your relationship over time. These small gestures can help benefit relationships even more than any fancy dinners or vacations.
1. Show appreciation
We get caught up in our busy lives, and it's easy to forget to show appreciation for things that others do for us. In a relationship, showing appreciation for what your partner does for you can go a long way and doesn't take much effort.
According to Nathan Feiles, a psychotherapist specializing in relationships and social anxiety, "If you take the time to make someone a cup of coffee every day, and they never say 'thank you,' and act as if it your job to do this, after a while you may start to become annoyed at the person. In our lives, we serve many figurative cups of coffee, and other people do the same for us, in whatever form this may actually take."
Simply saying that you appreciate that the other person took time out of their day to pick you up from the airport, or thank them for making breakfast, shows your partner that their efforts are meaningful. Simply put, saying thank you demonstrates that you appreciate the things (no matter how small) that your partner does for you -- instead of treating them like it's expected.
2. Be an optimist
Don't get caught up in the negativity of life. Jobs can be stressful but so can relationships. Maybe you're behind on credit card bills or a car payment, and it's stressing you out.
Being pessimistic in a relationship can cause long-term harm. Instead, focus on how you can both work past this rough patch and better your lives. There are many ways in which optimism benefits a relationship: it builds trust, maintains happiness and helps overcome difficult times.
According to Dr. Stan Tatkin, a specialist in marriage and family therapy, "Continuous negativism in any relationship becomes a bummer for both partners. That isn't to say that people should be falsely optimistic but rather to pay attention to how pessimism, particularly about the relationship or the other partner, can be self-harming."
3. Admit your wrongs
Sometimes it can be hard to admit that you've messed up. However, despite our best intentions, there are times where our actions can cause emotional strain in our relationships. Breakdowns happen, and knowing when to apologize can significantly reduce the negative effects of conflict and relationship stress.
According to Dr. Gary Brown, a marriage and family therapist with over 25 years in private practice, an apology shows that you regret your actions, whether they were intentional or not, that you are willing to accept responsibility for what happened and offer repair. "A true, heartfelt apology takes some level of courage," says Brown. "To admit that you were wrong, share your shame and take responsibility for your actions is a vulnerable place to be."
Acknowledging when you've messed up and offering a sincere apology shows your partner that you accept responsibility for your actions and that you are willing to put effort into the relationship.
4. Show affection
Simple displays of affection help relationships. Meaningful contact such as hugs, hand-holding and kissing have been connected to the release of oxytocin, a hormone secreted by the posterior lobe of the pituitary gland. Often referred to as the love hormone and the molecule of connection, oxytocin is thought to be released through intimate contact and deep social bonding.
A study by Dr. Inga D. Schneiderman of the Department of Behavioral Neuroendocrinology at the University of Regensburg in Germany found that, "Brain oxytocin modulates social behaviors, including maternal care and aggression, pair bonding, sexual behavior, social memory and support, and human trust, and downregulates stress responses, including anxiety."
5. Focus on communication
Communication is important in any relationship. Failure to communicate can lead to misunderstandings that may cause anger, resentment or confusion. Setting aside time for you and your partner to have conversations is essential to a healthy relationship.
According to Dr. John Grohol, the founder & CEO of Psych Central, communication (or lack of) can either make or break a relationship. "Little lies turn into big lies. Hiding your emotions behind a cloak of invincibility might work for you, but won't work for most others." Grohol says, "Pretending everything is alright isn't alright. And giving your partner the silent treatment is about as useful as a fish with a bicycle."
Being clear with the way you communicate and getting your feelings across to your partner is important in maintaining a strong relationship. Don't just expect your partner to read your mind... tell them what you're thinking.