Dating Tips > First Dates > 5 Tips for Dating If You're Shy

5 Tips for Dating If You're Shy

With the introduction of cell phones, tablets and smart TVs, face-to-face communication has dwindled. People are a lot more comfortable talking through their phones and cameras than actually meeting someone in person. For many of us, dating is already hard enough. If you add the fact that you are shy, dating can seem impossible.

dating a shy girl

1. Figure out who you are

We sometimes coast through life and never really think about who we are and what we enjoy doing. This can be due to dedicating a lot of our time to work, running daily errands or just lounging around the house. You'd be surprised how many people don't find time to think about what they really want or who they really are. In order to find a good person to date, we need to first figure that out.

We can start by breaking the routine -- at least somewhat, we all still need to work. In your free time, go out and do something that you wouldn't normally do but maybe secretly always thought about. Go rock climbing, fishing, ice skating or even sky jumping if it has ever crossed your mind. By going out and doing these activities, you'll start to notice new aspects of your personality and things that maybe you want to start doing regularly.

2. Join a club

After you start breaking your original routine, go back to something you like. If you were a big reader in school, join a local book club and start attending meetings. Talk to people who have the same interest as you. By constantly doing this, you're slowly breaking out of your shell, because you're talking about something you enjoy and have in common with others.

Who knows, maybe you'll find someone you're attracted to in that very book club. Since you know there is a foundation of common similarities between the two of you, striking up a conversation won't be as intimidating as it would be beforehand. Being able to combine something you enjoy with something you're trying to break out of, like being shy, can make the process a lot easier.

dating a shy man

3. Don't be afraid to try online dating

While many people stray away from online dating, it has its advantages. Online dating allows you to get a sneak peek into the people you are interested in just by clicking on their profile and seeing their likes, hobbies and experiences.

If you don't usually make the first move, because you're shy, this might help you practice. Sending them a direct message can help you get used to making the first move without feeling awkward.

This also gives you a chance to handle rejection. Sometimes people won't respond, and that's completely fine. Not getting a message back is totally okay. Thanks to the technological world we live in, we have all gotten somewhat used to not getting a text back or being left on "read." 

4. Practice makes perfect

You may not go out that often with friends, especially one-on-one. But try doing this as often as possible to help practice talking more. Close friends are very useful in this situation, seeing as that you already know them and making conversations may not be as hard as when you are on a date.

Once you've felt like you've gotten the hang of it, venture out with people you haven't seen in a while and get to know them a little more than you did before. After a while, you'll find yourself with more confidence.

dating when you are shy

5. Remember it's okay to be shy

Being shy may seem like a negative trait of your own personality, but it's not. There are people out there that prefer to date shy people, because they tend to be very good listeners and are considered deep thinkers. Dating is all about finding that special person that loves you as you are. There is someone out there looking for you, you just need to keep looking too. Breaking out of your shell and being a little less shy shouldn't change that.

Contributor, October 10, 2018

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