First dates can be a nerve-racking experience. If it's your first time meeting a person, there's a million thoughts going through your head. Will they like me? Will I like them? Will this date be a blast or a disaster? Sometimes you have a date with someone, and it ruins your whole perception of dating. Here are a few indications that your first date isn't going that well.
1. The date feels like an interview
It's normal for people to ask each other questions during a date to get to know each other better. But if your date is making it feel like you're on the most intense job interview of your life, it might be a sign that your date isn't going too well. Conversations should have a natural flow and not consist of more questions than a police interrogation. If you are being bombarded with uncomfortable questions by your date, tell them that you uncomfortable answering so many questions.
2. Phone is out
There's nothing worse than being on a date with someone who gives more attention to their phone than to you. If your date gets distracted by their phone in the middle of a sentence, that should be an immediate red flag. First dates are for getting to know each other, and having a phone out during prevents that from happening. If your date is constantly replying to texts, checking social media or even taking calls, it's a pretty good sign that they would rather be somewhere else. If your date is glued to the phone, don't just pull yours out as well. Kindly suggest that you both put your phones away for the night, so that you can get to know each other more. If they refuse, then you have the right to walk away.
3. There is a lack of eye contact
It's okay to be nervous on the first date. Especially if you both aren't very familiar with each other. However, there's a huge difference between being shy and being uncomfortable around each other. If it's well into the date, and you both aren't to the point where you can make eye contact, it might be an indicator that you aren't right for each other.
According to a study conducted by James Douglas Laird, psychology professor emeritus at Clark University, "Subjects induced to exchange mutual unbroken eye gaze for 2 minutes with a stranger of the opposite sex reported increased feelings of passionate love for each other."
What this translates to is that eye contact is important for creating bonds and strengthening attraction.
4. They bring up their ex(es)
Talking about their ex should be an immediate red flag and can be an indicator that they haven’t moved on or that they are especially bitter about the breakup. If it was causally brought up in conversation, it can just be nothing. However, if your date obsessively brings up their ex on multiple occasions, this can be a sign that they’re not over their ex. It’s also important to pay attention to your date when they bring up their ex(es) in your conversation if they bash their ex, play the victim, or emphasise the difference you to and their ex, its a sign that you should steer clear of them in the future.
5. You're already arguing
Friendly debates on a first date are insignificant. However, if the friendly banter escalates to a full on fight, chances are likely there won't be a second one. To prevent your date from becoming a public exhibition, avoid topics like money, politics, religion and other controversial topics. It's better to save those topics for when you get to know each other better.
6. They look longingly at other people
People watching is fun, but there's a difference between glancing at others because you are interested in what they are doing and glaring at others because you are interested in them. If your date is frequently distracted by others in the distance or constantly staring when someone attractive walks by, they might not be that into you.
7. They are rude to the wait staff
Commonly known as the waiter rule, this type of behavior is important to look out for. How your date treats the wait staff is a huge tell of their behavioral values and can be a good indicator of how they will treat you if you continue dating. A person who is unpleasant and patronizing to the wait staff reflects that they are self-important, entitled and thinks that others are below them. A person who respects the wait staff and sees them as equals often reflects values of respect and fairness.
While the way someone treats the wait staff can be a huge indicator of their values, it's not always definite. There's a chance that your date could just be acting nice. Look for tells further into dating. How do they treat their parents? What about their peers? How do they interact with a complete stranger?
8. There is a general lack of interest
Sometimes people just don't click. It's not uncommon for two people to meet online and decide on the first date that they won't get along. This feeling can be one-sided or mutual.
A Princeton University study concludes that a 100-millisecond exposure to someones face is enough to make a judgement of someone's "attractiveness, likeability, trustworthiness, competence, and aggressiveness" and that "increased exposure time did not significantly increase the correlations."
What this translates into is that first impressions are key, and that it is quite difficult to change someone's impression after the first.