We have all had someone who got away -- that one individual who keeps us up at night wondering, "What if?"
What if we were still together? What if I hadn't screwed it up? What if I was better/prettier/more outgoing? You can either let these questions keep you up at night, or you can choose to do something about it. If you are someone who prefers the latter approach, then we are here to help you out. Be warned, this is one area where you cannot afford to screw things up. A small mistake may do irreparable damage to your efforts to woo back your ex. So, here are eight mistakes to avoid while trying to get your ex to take you back.
1. Don't ask them to explain why
You don't want to start your quest of getting back together with your ex by asking them why you broke up in the first place. This sends a clear message. Either you haven't realized it for yourself, or you haven't given much thought to the reasons that led to your break-up in the first place. Neither scenario makes you look good.
Also no one wants to take a parental role in a relationship. Asking your ex to reveal to you why you broke up (like a child asking his parents what they did wrong) is no way to resurrect a broken relationship. Plus, there's a case to be made for dredging up bad memories.
2. Don't rush your apology
One of the worst blows that you can inflict on your efforts to getting back together with your ex is giving them a rushed apology. People break up for a myriad of different reasons. Rarely does a single reason spell the death of a relationship. When two people break up, its for a number of reasons piled on top of one another. Giving a rushed apology sends up a red flag and signifies that you have no appreciation for those reasons. Plus, your apology is likely to come across as insincere.
3. Don't beg or cry
Most people are under the impression that getting on your knees to beg or being overly emotional will help you win back your ex. These people couldn't be more wrong. You can be sincere without doing these things.
Imagine how bewildered you would be if an ex showed up out of the blue, crying their eyes out. What are the odds that you would end up back together with this person? The odds are slim to none.
4. Talk to them face-to-face
Want to get back together with your ex? Then stop texting them nonstop! Most people are under the impression that inundating their ex with texts somehow conveys their sincerity. The truth is it merely makes them look weak and desperate. You have no way of knowing how your ex is interpreting this sudden deluge of text messages. Its much better to meet your ex in person and talk things out face-to-face.
5. Don't visit the friend zone
Some people think the best way of getting your ex back is by showing what a good friend you can be. While this approach has its merits, it has its drawbacks to. Once you get friend zoned, it is very hard to be seen as a prospective partner. Getting your ex back by trying to be their friend is a tightrope few can walk on and come out unscathed.
6. Reinforce the situation socially
Getting your ex back by leveraging your common circle of friends might work. However, you have to make sure that those making your case on your behalf aren't coming on too strong. Plus, you have no way of knowing who has your ex's ear and who doesn't. Pick the wrong emissary, and your relationship is over before it begins. You also don't want to put any mutual friends in a tight spot.
7. Don't play the therapist card
Shocked? This happens more often then you would think. Getting your ex to take you back by asking their advice about your problems is a tempting strategy, but don't do it. Its downright manipulative even if you don't realize it. Plus, if your ex realizes what you are doing, your chances of getting back together goes up in smoke.
8. Don't harass them on social media
Don't try to get back together with your ex by hounding them on social media. In social media, cute becomes creepy real fast.
It's always important to make sure you are getting back together with your ex for all the right reasons. If a bruised ego is fueling your efforts to get back together with your ex, then stop. Don't string along your ex, because they are your backup or Plan B. And no matter what you do, don't use money as a reason to get back together.