Asking a woman out can be nerve-wracking, whether you're doing it in real life, online, or through an app. There is always that feeling you might be doing something wrong. Here is a list to help give you the confidence you need to finally ask that special woman out!
1. Stay in the moment
Don't get too many steps ahead of yourself. Focusing on the moment will help you stay charming and responsive. This allows you to have a real conversation with someone rather than getting anxious and letting the conversation fall flat.
2. Don't use the "D" word
You don't have to get too over-eager and start using the word "dating" or anything. The point of dates is to get to know someone better to see if you can continue dating. Try inviting her out for some coffee or food some time. This way, you'll put less pressure on her and yourself to have anything truly official.
3. Don't ask her to "hang out", either
Just as you don't want to use the term "date" in the beginning, asking to hang out is a complete no-no if you want to be taken seriously. In the end, aim to ask her to get dinner, because that will make it clear it's a date, and that you're interested in getting to know her. Hang outs these days have too many other implications, like playing video games or something else. The best thing to do is make your intentions as clear as possible.
4. Be okay with rejection
Asking a woman out is really a no-lose situation. If she says no, then you are back where you started. The thing to do is accept the answer and move on. There is no need to continue to bother her anymore. Some guys think that a rejection is an indictment on themselves, when in reality, they are simply just not interested. You will have to get through a lot of No's to finally get that YES (from a different woman)!
5. Squelch your fears
You can't build this moment up in your mind. Don't overthink it. Understand that what you're doing is not a big deal: you aren't asking her to move in with you, or get married. You are literally just asking for someone to spend a couple of hours with you. So, relax. The worst that can happen is that you're back where you started, and you can always reach out to more potential dates!
6. Make a real connection
It's easier to get a date if you've spoken or had a conversation with the woman before asking her out. A lot of guys are under the impression that you can just go up to a girl with no prior connection and just ask her out. This is a lame way to go about your approach, because many women will not consider going on a date with you without knowing at least little bit about you first.
7. Dress to impress
While you don't need to be in a suit (actually, it's probably better if you don't wear a suit most of the time), if you approach her wearing ripped pants and a ragged old T-shirt, the chances for a no are probably a lot higher (Unless you're Mark Zuckerberg). Dress smart and like you care about yourself, and wear some nice shoes and that will give an appearance boost but also a confidence boost. You can also check out what she wears in her photos, and try to be on her level in terms of how dressy or casual you are.
8. Don't hesitate on the ask
When asking a woman out, to try to be as clear as possible, instead of using words like "should" or "would" or "maybe". Simply be direct and to the point. For example, you can say something like: "Let's get food on Monday. I'm free at 8PM if that works for you". That way, you can also get a definitive answer, and she knows what your intentions are immediately.
9. Just do it
Whether you are in real life or on a dating app, overthinking what you are going to say is going to keep you where you are. You don't need a 5-part master plan, and don't let yourself punk out. The more you wait, the worse your anxiety will be. Be upbeat about it, and hopefully she'll be that way too and reciprocate. Just take a deep breath and ask her out!
