If you met someone really you like, whether planned or unplanned, you might be asking yourself if you're ready for a serious relationship. You might be asking this, because you tend to fall for the wrong . Perhaps you are on the lookout for a partner but have some doubts whether the long-term commitment is right for you right now. Or perhaps you've started a relationship, but are not sure it's actually what you want. Really, someone's readiness for a relationship can be defined by so many things, but at its heart, it's really a question of whether it's something that you actually want and something you're prepared to work for. If you're feeling confused, here are some questions to help you think about whether you are ready to put yourself out there.
Do your parents know about the person you are dating?
Healthy relationships are never a secret. When you are dating someone, you are bringing them into your life, and that includes letting people know about your boyfriend/girlfriend. If you are keeping your love a secret from those around you, this is a big sign that you are not ready to be in a serious relationship. If your parents, friends, and other people who are close to you know about your relationship, way to go! You want more than casual dating can provide.
Do you have boundaries in your relationship?
Whether you're dating casually or have been going out for a while, setting boundaries is important in any relationship. To have the healthiest relationship, whether casual or exclusive, both partners should know each other's goals, fears and limits. You should feel comfortable honestly communicating your needs to your partner without being afraid of what they might to do in response. If your partner goes against what you're comfortable with, then your partner is not showing you the respect you deserve.
Talking about emotional and physical boundaries with your partner is a great way to make sure that you feel safe and needed. Here are a few things to think about when setting boundaries in your relationship.
- How long do you think you'll be dating?
- Are you comfortable to tag or post about your relationship?
- Are you comfortable with them following your friends on social media?
- Is it ok to use each other's devices?
- Are there certain things you'd rather not talk about?
- What are your expectations for returning texts or calling each other?
- Are there certain parts of your body you aren't comfortable with your partner seeing or touching?
Happy and healthy relationships are built on open and honest communication. Talk to your partner about what your boundaries are and listen to them about theirs. It might be best to consider whether your relationship is worth continuing.
Have you talked about your future plans with your partner?
As humans, we're constantly evolving. Sometimes in relationships, you and your partner grow together, whereas in others, you grow apart. Growing and evolving in any relationship is about communication. A lot of relationships end because the communication just is not in place to resolve issues. Asking about your partner's goals will let you know whether they're going to want to commit to you down the line. This question will leave your partner stumped if they don't see you as a serious partner, and they will have great ideas to share if they do see you in the long-term.
Do you worry that a serious relationship would mean giving up your independence?
Hanging out with the person you're dating is fun, but you also need time away as well. So, don't lose sight of who you are when you start dating someone. Make sure you continue to do the things that you love doing.
You might think you'll be less independent than you were when you were single. You might think you can't make plans to hang out with friends unless you check in with your partner first. Every relationship has its own ground rules and negotiations, but if spending time with your friends is important to you, that is something that you and your partner should discuss. If giving up any shred of independence seems unacceptable to you, then you have to ask yourself:
- Could it be a way to keep your partner at a distance and make sure no one ever expects too much of you?
- If so, are you really ready for a serious relationship as you think?
If you're still feeling confused, talk to your partner about your relationship. Open-ended questions can be a great way to get to know your partner better and keep track of whether you both are on the same page without guessing.