If you're dating someone you really like, it's natural to eventually come to the point where you ask yourself, "What are we?" This can be an awkward moment between you and your partner, especially if you're each looking for something different. Here's how you can distinguish between dating casually and being in a committed relationship.
What is a non-exclusive relationship?
A non-exclusive relationship is casual dating where two people connect emotionally, and sometimes physically, but there is no commitment. This is not a serious relationship, so you are free to see other people.
What defines a committed relationship?
If you are in a serious or long-term relationship, it is based upon a mutually agreed commitment to one another. This involves love, trust, honesty, openness and lots of communication. You are making a promise to the other person that you are dating them exclusively and not seeing other people.
Differences between non-exclusive and committed relationships
Relationships happen in stages. First, you'll message and meet. You'll go on a first date, and if there's a spark between you and your partner, you'll go on more. But how do you know if you're just dating casually or in a committed relationship with your partner? Figure out if casual, non-exclusive dating is right for you, or if you require exclusivity and commitment, by comparing the options.
If you're non-exclusive, you...
- Are not monogamous: You are seeing other people besides this person, and they may be seeing others, too. Neither of you has agreed to exclusively date the other.
- Don't live together: You typically don't move in with someone whom you're just casually dating, because that can make things awkward. Also, living together infers a higher level of commitment.
- Don't call the other person your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend": If you don't have titles for each other, then you're probably not in an exclusive relationship. But if you're not sure, ask!
- Avoid making long-term plans with the person: If you avoid making future plans -- even a few months in advance -- then you probably don't see the relationship getting too serious.
- Have no expectations or demands: You see each other whenever, and there is no expectation or pressing demand that you will hang out. If you don't hear from the other person, you aren't worried.
If you're exlusively dating, you...
- Stop dating other people: You want and expect a serious and monogamous relationship with your significant other. You consider any straying from this commitment cheating.
- Have no problem defining the relationship: If someone wants to know where you stand, you can tell them. You call your significant other your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" without stress.
- Introduce your partner to your friends and family: You'll spend more time with someone you're exclusively dating, so it's only natural to introduce them to the other important people in your life.
- Plan for the future: When you're single, you make decisions based on your wants alone. In a committed relationship, it matters what the other person wants to do and where they see themselves in the future. If you and your partner are making plans together far in advance, there is a good likelihood that you see each other sticking around for the long haul.
- Talk about marriage or move in together: These are both hugh hurdles to jump, and it's not possible unless there is a high level of commitment.
Remember that there is no deadline for getting into a serious relationship. Commitments happen based on mutual comfort levels. Making it official can be based on how you often spend time together or how strongly you feel.
However, whether you are casually dating someone or in a serious relationship, have a talk with them. Sometimes it is important to define your relationship and know that you're on the same page. It's perfectly fine to be in a loving relationship without an explicit long-term commitment. It doesn't mean that the relationship is any less real or important. Don't let society define what you think you want.