Relationships can bring out the best – but also the worst – in all of us. For every newly-in-love couple experiencing butterflies and a quickened pulse, there is one slowly drowning under the weight of mental health issues.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety-based illness in which someone harbors intrusive thoughts that force them into repetitive behaviors. Those diagnosed with OCD spend an excessive amount of time dealing with these thoughts, and the behaviors associated interfere with normal day-to-day functions.
Do you get the urge to say, "I love you"?
It affects those already dealing with OCD and many who might not even realize they are. Oftentimes, individuals categorize these quirks as personality traits and do not seek medical attention. These behaviors turn into rituals for the afflicted, a way to counteract a fear, but the relief is short lived. If you suffer from recurring doubts and an overwhelming preoccupation with solving them through ritualized actions, seek help from a mental health professional. Treatment for OCD includes medication and psychotherapy.
What does relationship OCD look like?
Obsession: "Do I really love my partner?"
Compulsion: analyzing every aspect of the relationship
Obsession: "Is my partner cheating on me?"
Compulsion: constantly seeking reassurance
Obsession: "How do I know if this is the right relationship for me?"
Compulsion: looking elsewhere for fulfillment, infidelity
Relationship OCD may not be an officially recognized affliction but affects many in the dating world. When silently questioning yourself turns into cycling through the same unwelcome thoughts (obsessions) and actions to make you feel better (compulsions), you're experiencing relationship OCD. The problem is in your mind and not actually caused by an issue in the relationship itself. You reinforce your anxiety with the habitual way you cope with it.
Is every negative thought part of relationship OCD? Of course not. The first or second time you form this train of thought, it's just that... an errant idea. In relationship OCD, you have no reason for or evidence to support the idea. The more you return to the loop, the less you engage with your partner. It can make you feel on edge, tight in your chest, or like there is a ball in the pit of your stomach.
You don't need to fix the relationship - you need to mend your brain chemistry. Your brain gives weight to these ideas. It emphasizes a problem that may or may not exist. The disorder acts as a barrier between the two of you. It causes distance and, eventually, detachment. Remember that you are not to blame. Neither is your partner. But also understand that that if you don't seek help, you're choosing the disease over your significant other.