Dating Tips > Long-Term > How to Balance the Power in a Relationship

How to Balance the Power in a Relationship

A lot of times in relationships, power dynamics shift dramatically. You may find yourself in a position where everything you do with your partner is on their terms. You should always be making sure that you contribute and are rewarded in equally. An imbalance in the power dynamics can create great strain on a relationship that may not be as noticeable as physical abuse but can be just as devestating in the long term. For a relationship to flourish, there needs to be a balance.

Do not be too controlling

Your partner is going to have a life outside of you as a couple. You can't assume that their life has to revolve around you. Of course, this is a two-way street. If you find your partner is controlling, (for example, not allowing you to hang out with your friends or family), that is a huge problem. Allowing each other to have your own lives prevents dependency on each other.

Do not keep score

If you or your partner are bringing up everything negative the other person has done in the past, it will be impossible to have a healthy relationship. People make mistakes. A good way of making someone resent you is bringing up all of their mistakes over and over again. If something comes up, talk about it immediately. If it is a repeat offense, just say that you have brought it up before, and it needs to be addressed. If it continues to happen, maybe it's time to move on from the relationship.

Do not lie to keep your partner happy

If you find yourself lying about mundane things like hanging out with friends, going to the movies with your family, or something similar, then you might be in an imbalanced relationship. Firstly, you shouldn't feel like you have to lie to your partner. If you feel that if you don't lie, then you will be hurting your partner, the relationship is not in a healthy place.

Do not let your partner take advantage of you

Obviously, if you care for your partner, you will want to do whatever you can to make them happy. However, if the requests become a hindrance, it's a problem. At the end of the day, your partner should respect you or your wishes. If your partner treats you disrespectfully, then it is time to leave them for greener pastures.

Do not let it become a pattern

If it becomes a pattern, it is much harder to break the habit. You become comfortable with this dynamic where your partner has all the power. This leads to depression or anxiety, because your situation feels hopeless. Once you can break out of them, you will feel much better. If you tell your partner that this behavior is unacceptable, and they change, then you build a healthier relationship.

For any healthy relationship, both parties need to learn that there is a give and take. Forcing someone to do things they are uncomfortable doing is not how you make a relationship work. If it feels like guilt, paranoia, and anger are becoming more and more prevalent in your relationship, it is time to end it.

Michael Meerovich, August 16, 2018

Join Us

© Copyright 2018 Pyar.com