We all experience situations where we don't know how to act. One of the most glaring examples is when we go out with someone for the very first time. The tension and pre-jitters may even affect your mental state.
You walk through every excuse in the book as to how to cancel the date… until you think about every reason to go through with it. Hopefully, that causes the jitters to fade. If it doesn't, and even your closest friends cannot calm you down, consider the lost opportunity of finding your one true love. It's important to understand one simple fact: the person you will be sitting across from is just that. A person. And just like you, he or she is panicking. The more anxious you are, the more difficult it will be to gain control of your nerves during the actual date itself.
While preparing for your date, take it one step at a time. Shift your focus to little things like planning your outfit and hairstyle. Those few minutes of forgetfulness may be exactly what you need to defeat your apprehension.
Below are some tips on calming your nerves when going forward with the date. Remember to breathe! You might just find exactly what you're looking for.
- Composure - Going on a date is about more than just looking presentable. A first impression is made within 7 seconds, and to make a good one, show confidence. While you prepare, listen to music that soothes your unquiet mind. Rather than loud and chaotic songs to pump you up, get your heart rate down. You don't want your date to see you sweat! Think about the upcoming event as little as possible while getting ready. That "I-can-do-it" feeling only comes from self-assurance and composure.
- "What If" - Naturally, you begin to ask, "What if?" We strongly suggest pushing these dreaded questions from your mind; the only way you can answer them is by going through with the date. Remember the other party is going through all the same phases themselves. Allow yourself to be in the moment. If nothing else comes from the date, use it as a learning experience for the next one. What if you acquire real love, new friendship, or a life changing epiphany? But, what if, you miss out on all of that?
- Practice - Rehearse what you'll say beforehand. While it's okay to look at his or her profile, don't bring up something you saw in a Facebook photo posted six years ago. However, it's good to know a little instead of going in blind. This will give you unique icebreakers and talking points, so you know what you want to say and how to say it. Make note of anything you should stay away from. These kinds of vocal and mental exercises are a perfect way to warm you up for your first date, and they will save you from embarrassing silence by providing fodder for any awkward pauses.
- Reality check - We all want our hands held. We all want to be protected from the emotional dangers associated with dating. Unfortunately, that is not how life works. You can't live in a bubble your entire life. Sometimes, we need a reality check. Tell yourself that you can do this. Because in the end, when it comes to stepping out into the real world, the pros outweigh the cons.
- Ground yourself - We're not talking about punishment. What we mean is to really understand the reality of the situation before stepping out of the house. Look in the mirror, take a deep breath, and say: "I will have a great time." When you take that extra moment to calm yourself down, you can replace the unease with hopefulness and courage.
Before you conquer your date, ask yourself one question - are you ready? Take ownership of your life, and don't doubt yourself. One simple phrase should be able to get you through each day, "You've got this!"
Apply these tips to dating as well as your every day life. You will be ready for anything that comes your way. You are ready, and you already have this in the bag.