Finding love is never easy. There is a lot that goes into finding your soulmate, and you don't want to spoil things when you find someone online who seems like they could be "the one." If you arrive to the date, and find that the other person is not at all what you expected, you can feel the disappointment seep in. Maybe they're really not your type, or they're rude with terrible table manners.
Once you start to feel stressed out, your whole mindset changes. You begin to question everything. You wonder whether you'll ever find love, and you start to panic. The important thing to realize is that, even when you're feeling stressed, it is possible to have a sense of serenity and calm. In order to find love, you need to change your thinking. It will allow you to change how you feel about relationships and will give you power that you never knew you had!
Stop looking for "the one"
Instead of feeling frustrated when each date doesn't end in a marriage proposal, look at dating as a learning process to get to know yourself and others. Of course, most of us have heard the belief that when you stop looking for love, you'll usually find it. As cliche as this piece of advice can sound, it's true. Find ways that you can enjoy the process:
- Dating is a great opportunity to become a conversationalist
- Practice feeling less awkward with someone new
- Learn to become a more engaged listener
- Have fun learning about other people
- Figure out what turns you on in a potential mate
Get curious and realize that experimentation is a part of the fun!
Keep an open heart and stay positive
You don't have to date a certain type. It's easy to make decisions preemptively about whom you want to avoid or seek out when it comes to dating, but this kind of behavior can be self-sabotaging. If you set boundaries on your dating pool, you stymie your chances of finding happiness. Dating is about trying things out, so expand your consciousness and date outside the box. Most people in happy relationships are intrigued by the differences, not the similarities, of their partner. Furthermore, most people are surprised by their ultimate choice in companion.
It's a well-known fact that good things tend to happen to positive people. So if you have a negative mindset while trying to find a partner, it won't happen. Change your mindset and be more positive if you want your dating life to significantly improve.
Pay close attention to the other person
When do you meet someone you like, it is important to pay close attention to them. This means, instead of rushing the introductions, take some time to get to know the other person. Don't be so nervous that you don't hear what they're saying. Try to remember things and bring it up later in the conversation, so the other person knows you are comprehending what they're saying.
Listen as much or more than you talk
Some people consider themselves skilled communicators, because they can talk endlessly. If you talk constantly about yourself, and don't take the time to listen, you're not communicating correctly. You'll end up feeling even more stressed out, because you'll notice your date getting antsy. You'll constantly be trying to fill the silence. Take the time to focus on what your date is saying and appreciate the fact they are willing to share it with you.
Get inspired by other couples
If you're feeling disillusioned about online dating, get a shot of inspiration to get you feeling optimistic again. Ask your friends if they know any couples who have met their partners online and see what you can learn from them. Read articles on dating, relationships and interpersonal behaviors.
You may also find that your lack of success in the dating realm leads you to pursue a passion or two in other areas of life. Even if this starts out as a desire for distraction, you can meet interesting people whom you may not have met otherwise. Expand your horizons and realize that every experience, even a difficult one, is an opportunity. And whatever you do, don't give up on love.