If it hasn't been too long since you and your ex broke up, and you are clamoring to get back together, there is a small window for getting back together. It often happens that in our haste to break up we fail to realize what a great relationship we had in the first place. The longer you wait, the smaller your chances of getting back together are.
So if you realize what an idiot you were and want to give your relationship another shot, here's how you can get back together with your ex quickly.
Deal with the heartbreak first
Before you decide to get back together with your ex, you need to process your feelings. Deciding to get back with your ex in the heat of the moment is a very bad idea. Take your time and make an informed decision. Do all the things that people do to get over a break up:
- Go out with your friends
- Listen to your favorite break up songs
- Eat the comfort food of your choosing
Do whatever you have to do to get back on your feet and then decide whether you want to get back together or not.
Stop yourself from contacting them
Ever heard the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder? It is doubly true for exes. It is always good to give each other plenty of space after a break-up. This has the added advantage of soothing hurt and cooling your temper. After a while, your ex starts to get curious. What are they doing? How are they holding up? They start putting out feelers. Who knows? Your ex may even start stalking you on Facebook! After a while, all the reasons that led to your break up will seem unnecessary, pointless even. A contact ban may seem to make no sense, but two people in love are hardly the model of stable behavior.
Validate their feelings about breaking up
It is crucial to make your ex realize that you understand where they are coming from -- even if you don't agree with everything they have to say. It is important to make your partner feel heard. Falling back to defense mechanisms, like calling them crazy or saying they are overreacting, may do lasting harm. Instead take a step back and listen to what they have to say. Show them that you are willing to put in the work needed to make the relationship a success. Prove to them that you can change and are committed to getting things right this time.
Share how you feel about the situation
Let your ex know you want to get back together. Dancing around the topic won't do you any good. Plus, it will save you time and spare you from heartache in the long run (in case your ex doesn't feel the same way). Let them know how you feel and take it from there. Don't cry or beg. Don't let the discussion devolve into a shouting match of who did what. And if your ex is not interested in getting back together, then take it in stride and move on.
Focus on the good things
Exes often get bogged down by the bad things. While it is important to acknowledge the bad things and work on them, it is equally important to focus on the good. Remember what drew you to each other in the first place. Reminisce about the good times. It will help you reconnect. But at the same time, don't come on too strong or expect to pick up right where you left off. Let things take their natural course.
Once again, we would like to stress that you are get back together for the right reasons. Wanting to get back together with your ex just because you can't bear to see them with someone else or are in denial as to why you really broke up isn't the right way to move forward. Relationships are tricky, and dealing with an ex will be trickier in ways you cannot even imagine.