Some experiences really shine as defining points in a relationship. Ask friends when they knew their partner was the one. I'm sure they can pinpoint a watershed moment when everything just clicked. Usually, these instances add up. They develop a foundation and pave the way to long term commitment.
"First time" milestones
- the first time you talk until the sun comes up
- the first time you kiss
- the first time you say "I love you"
- the first fight and consequent make-up
- the first overnight stay
Dating progresses at different paces, so you shouldn't have any expectations as to the time frames of these major - or minor – milestones. Be patient. It depends on the past, too (heartbreaks, intimacy issues, immaturity).
What's the timeline for an average couple to experience "coupley" things?
Major milestones
| 2 weeks |
hold hands, casual contact |
| 1 month |
hang out with their friends |
| 2-3 months |
see each other exclusively |
| 6 months |
introduce them to family |
| 9 months |
decide what the future entails |
Don't concentrate so much on substantial landmarks that you overlook the smaller turning points. These can be more meaningful, because they're done subconsciously. For those who find it difficult to talk about their feelings, these little actions reveal the direction they wish the relationship to head and indicate how serious they are about the future.
Minor milestones
- deleting your online dating profile
- sending a text without reading it over multiple times
- automatically connecting to their WiFi
- being comfortable with silence
- spending more time together than apart
You might be a couple on the verge and not even realize it. When does "just seeing someone" turn into full-fledged dating? Is it a predetermined amount of dates that define a relationship or do certain behaviors signal the shift to commitment? It's best to be straightforward and confirm the situation with your partner. However, you might want to look out for these hints before starting that discussion.
Signs you're already a couple
- sharing intimate secrets
- ceasing to be embarrassed (when singing, farting, naked, etc.)
- planning something a month in advance
- using inside jokes or nicknames in public
- keeping a toothbrush at their place
Once you're absolutely a pair, you might wonder what's left to celebrate. Although the early days seem life-changing, the most intense experiences are yet to come – marriage, children, buying your first house. While you're on your way to really carving out your space in the world, look out for these under-the-radar moments.
Pivotal moments
- switching roles (whether in careers or chores)
- hitting a dry spell
- moving in together
- opening a joint bank account
- knowing that a fight will not end your relationship
Whether you're in the casual dating sphere or matured into girlfriend-and-boyfriend territory, treasure these moments. Inevitably, the excitement dies down. Hopefully, it gets replaced with a stronger bond, mutual affection, and a deep spiritual connection.
As your relationship hits the next level, you'll have to work at it more. You might even question if it's worth it, and maybe it's not. How will you know? Focus on the good. Keep those early milestones in your memory to compete with doubts. Remember how you ended up where you are now.
Healthy long-term relationships hit rough patches and can feel boring, but there's always another mountain to climb!