Relationships do not come with instruction manuals, but you can find inspiration on how to build a successful and genuine connection with someone you care about just by observing your parents. Watching them interact and manage one another provides you with the best guide on how to grow in a relationship. Here's what you can learn from your parents.
Love unconditionally
All relationships are imperfect, and there will be times when your partner's habits, behavior or circumstances will get on your nerves. The golden rule for a successful bond is patience.
- Appreciate each other: You both play important roles in the relationship. Whether it comes down to who brings home more money each month, or who does more of the work, you should appreciate what the other person has to offer. This is something our parents have mastered. Play to your strengths.
- Respect each other's opinions: This is essential to a successful and long-lasting relationship. If you're young, chances are you value love and passion above all else. But parents will tell you that friendship and respect count more in the long run. Passion may lessen over time, but a healthy respect for your partner's feelings and opinions will see you through the bad phases.
- Be supportive of your partner: Displaying love doesn't always mean expensive gifts and surprises. A real display of love means just being there for your partner in the good times and the bad. Being supportive builds a strong bond and pushes your partner to be a better person. Your parents have supported each other through different times of their life -- from one-time events like career changes and childbirth to ongoing things like getting older and maintaining a household.
- Accept your partner for who they are: When you get into a relationship, you'll find your partner's habits endearing. After a while, the same habits begin to annoy you. If you try to change someone, it takes a toll on the relationship. Instead, learn to accept your partner's flaws and remind yourself of the reasons why you fell in love with them in the first place. Your parents do that every day.
Arguing is natural
Every relationship has challenges, and at times you'll get on each other's nerves. It's how you handle those times that matter. Are your parents' arguments unnecessarily explosive? Do they never show signs of their conflict? Did they calmly express their feelings and try to reach a compromise? Learn from their arguing style -- is healthy or harmful?
Don't hold onto the past, especially the negative parts. Nobody is perfect. All of us make mistakes. We have bad phases in relationships. When you emerge from the fog, forget the negative bits. There is no point in bringing it up in fights. Mastering the art of letting go takes time, but it is an important lesson to learn.
Both sides need to participate 100 percent
- Relationships are never 50/50. In order to be successful in your relationship, you have to go all in. If you both aren't putting in 100 percent, it will never work.
- Communication is key. A happy relationship requires great communication. This means that both you need to be actively listening to each other as well as communicating your feelings and opinions in a constructive and helpful way.
Establish a life of your own
When you are in a relationship, your partner is important, but you need to have a life of your own too. Make time for your own social circle and pursue your own interests. This will hold you in good stead when your relationship hits a rough patch but also give you space when you need it. Relationships get strained when you're with each other all day, every day. Does you mom go out with her girlfriends every so often? Does you dad hang out with the guys from work?
Whether you agree or disagree with the way your parents handle their relationship, they offer some important insights. If your parents don't have a great relationship, learn from their mistakes. If they do, apply their actions to your own relationships.
What love lessons have you learned from your parents? Share your experiences in the comments below.