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Should You Always Play by the Rulebook in Relationships?

Every relationship is complex in nature -- no matter who you are involved with. You cannot always have a good time, because life's not a movie; it's real. No matter how mature and compatible you both are, there will be times when you need to make an effort. Sometimes, observing your parents, getting advice from your best friend or reading some useful tips can help you figure things out. But is it all that simple?

Should You Play by the Rules

Should you always play by the rulebook in relationships? Let's find out.

1. Every relationship has a different dynamic

If you think that a certain set of rules in a committed relationship can help you attain 100 percent success in your love life, take a minute to think about that. Not every girl loves chocolates and flowers, and not every guy likes to take charge. The dynamic is different depending on the relationship.

Not all couples in the world celebrate Valentine's Day with full-on PDA, because every individual and their behavior in a given environment is different. Hence, the bonding between them differs too. If you are planning to mug up a list of relationship rules to impress your girlfriend, it may not work. You should treat every woman you date differently and base your interactions on her personally.

2. Not knowing what lies ahead is the real challenge

Every relationship comes with its own set of challenges, and you cannot escape them. If you are not ready to face the tough times without relying on a guide of do's and don'ts, what's the point? The fact that you don't have a definite answer to all your questions makes things interesting.

When you get involved with a person, you won't know them instantly. You take your time; you make mistakes and grow. Sometimes you have to fight for your love. Even if you don't know what's going to happen, you must do your thing anyway. It will ease your partner's mind to know that you care enough to take risks and will go beyond the conventional rules.

3. Plans don't always work out

You go through a relationship rulebook, devise a plan and implement it exactly the way it's supposed to be. But does that guarantee 100 percent success? Not really. Things don't always go as per the plan.

The ground rules don't guarantee that your significant other would like the things you have planned. You must understand that plans do fail, and you have no control over the results. Don't rely on a rulebook to make your partner feel loved. You can do that on your own.

4. Predictability could be boring

Couples who don't try anything new tend to get predictable and bored. If you want to keep your relationship alive, keep it exciting. Trying out unconventional things won't harm the equation. Surprise your partner and make their heart beat faster. Remind them that they are lucky to have you through your actions. Do things out of the blue, so that they can't guess what your next move will be. There's no fun in being predictable if there's no spark left in the relationship.

5. Trust your instincts

No rulebook or guide can define the needs of your partner better than you. A relationship is not a device that you can operate with the help of some tips and guidelines. It's an art that demands your conviction. Enjoy the rawness of your relationship, let the romance bloom and allow yourself to go with the flow. If you really love each other, trust your instincts rather than a bunch of rules.

6. Love is not an obligation

When you find the love of your life and start a beautiful journey together, it seems like you're living in a wonderland. However, after both of you get comfortable, the magic starts vanishing. Love is not a duty that you are obliged to fulfill. It's a strong emotion that keeps you on your toes.

There's no shortcut to love, and there's no cheat sheet to ensure a happy relationship. We must change the way we look at coupledom. It's not a mission to be accomplished or a task to be completed. It's a commitment for a lifetime, and if you are too lazy to make any special efforts, it implies that you are just not ready to be in that relationship.

Contributor, April 26, 2019

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