Relationships are absolutely important to enjoy life. People meet each other, fall in love, spend time together, and decide to be with each other forever. Sounds dreamy, doesn't it? However, things are not always magical when you find love. Sometimes, your own thoughts can make your relationship lose its charm. This happens when you suffer from anxiety.
When people constantly feel worried that things might go wrong with their partner or they won’t be able to sustain a long and healthy relationship with their spouse, it’s termed as relationship anxiety.
Causes of relationship anxiety
There can be various causes of someone experiencing relationship anxiety. For some, a bad previous relationship can trigger anxiety in future relationships, while some may go through anxiety because of factors like low self-esteem or insecurities about one’s body.
When someone feels that they haven’t been treated well in their life, they might develop the fear of getting rejected and being dumped. Their experience of being cheated on or being abused by someone in the past may make it hard for them to accept love and respect in future relationships as well.
Signs of Relationship Anxiety
Even people with social anxiety can experience relationship anxiety with their partner. If you are unsure whether you are simply not in love with your partner or going through relationship anxiety, look for the signs mentioned in the list below:
- You frequently ask your partner about their feelings towards you and need to be re-assured about the relationship time and again.
- When you are with your partner, you don’t feel like yourself. You try to be likeable and don’t express your opinion honestly with them.
- You push your partner away by sabotaging your relationship just to see how much they will fight to be with you.
- You are always thinking how much you mean to your partner and want them to show you how much they love you.
- You are too demanding or controlling and often make critical comments towards your partner.
- You have a hard time trusting your partner and often feel the need to sneak on them or check their phone for suspicious messages or mails.
- You are worried that your partner’s feelings have changed over time and they might want to break up with you.
- You are hesitant to commit to a serious relationship fearing that you’ll be betrayed, or things will not turn out the way you want them to.
- You often make a mountain out of a molehill and over-react to situations without knowing the complete truth even when things are going well in the relationship.
- Thinking about the relationship makes you feel anxious, tensed or nervous. Instead of recalling the happy moments spent with your partner, you instantly get worried and sweaty.
- You try to please your partner at the expense of your own comfort and happiness.
- You act clingy towards your partner and always want them to be around.
Dealing with relationship anxiety
As relationship anxiety is not a diagnosed condition, there is no proper treatment recommended by experts. However, there are many ways to handle it with care if one is willing to. The most important thing to remember is to have a conversation about it without any hesitation or reservation.
Here are some ways to deal with relationship anxiety:
1. Acknowledge your feelings
The worst thing you can do to your anxiety is deny it and brush it off as a minor inconvenience in your relationship. It’s very crucial to acknowledge what you are feeling and process your thoughts. Think about what’s making you anxious. Is something really wrong or your worries are based on assumptions?
2. Communicate with your partner
Whatever you are thinking about, tell your partner about it. Discuss with them about your restlessness and triggering points. Talk to them heart to heart and show complete honesty. An understanding partner will not just listen to you but will also support you through the struggle.
3. Do things that make you feel good
All this while don’t forget to do things that make you feel happy. Pursue your hobbies and interests so your mind is not distracted with unnecessary thoughts and ideas. The more occupied you are with things you like, the lesser time you will have to worry about things that don’t even exist.
4. Take care of your body and mind
Make sure to take care of your body and mind. Mediate, do some physical exercises, practice yoga, and indulge in a healthy routine. There may be days when you don’t feel very positive and energetic but try to be positive on some days. Focus on your peace of mind and prioritize yourself.
5. See a therapist
If you think that talking to your partner about your feelings and a healthy routine aren’t enough to resolve your anxiety, you must seek professional help. Your mental health is extremely important, and it should be your priority over everything else. It’s high time that we normalize seeking help for mental health issues as much as we cater to any other part of our body.
Relationship anxiety is not just an individual issue, it also hampers the relationship between two people. So, if you find yourself or your partner experiencing any negative emotions or exhibiting behavior with signs of anxiety, it’s important to handle the issue with care. Together, two people can make things right and get over any hurdle if their love is true.