Sometimes it's hard to get your crush's attention. You don't want to be too dramatic, but you want that special someone to notice you. Luckily, science has your back. There have been many studies that research the science of successful flirting methods.
Playing hard-to-get
Playing hard-to-get might be one of the most well know flirting strategies. What many don't know is the science behind why it works.
You should be careful when playing hard-to-get. You don't want to give off the impression that you are uninterested. The impression that you want to give your crush is that you are worth the work, because you are very enthusiastic about them specifically.
Psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini, a well-known expert on influence, best-selling author and professor of psychology/marketing at Arizona State University, believes the hard-to-get strategy works so well because it exemplifies the scarcity principle. Cialdini has found that making something time limited, unique or rare increases its perceived attractiveness and value. Playing hard-to-get takes advantage of people's FOMO reaction (fear of missing out).
"Because we know that the things that are difficult to possess are typically better than those that are easy to possess, we can often use an item's availability to help us quickly and correctly decide on its quality," explains Cialdini.
Smiling
Although it might seem a little too simple, wearing a genuine smile is one of the best flirting tactics. Be careful not to force it though, people are able to detect disingenuity.
Besides just making you seem like a friendly, happy person, a smile can also increase your perceived attractiveness. Don't just take our word for it, the peer-reviewed scientific journal Cognition and Emotion posted an article on the power of a smile.
The publication concluded that, "The evaluation of attractiveness is strongly influenced by the intensity of a smile expressed on a face: A happy facial expression could even compensate for relative unattractiveness."
Touching
Touch is a very problematic but effective flirting technique. You should be very careful to not overstep any boundaries. Consent is everything. Avoid anything that can be seen as too aggressive, such as a hand around the waist. Instead, try a light touch on the arm.
This act of light touching as a flirting technique had been studied and proven. Dr. Nicolas Guéguen posted an article in the journal of Social Influence titled, "Courtship compliance: The Effect of Touch on Women's Behavior."
In his work, Guéguen found, "It was found in our three experiments that touch is positively associated with higher compliance with a request in a courtship context. It seems that a young woman has more probability of starting a courtship relation when the male request is accompanied by a tactile contact."
Laughing
Humor is another obvious flirting technique. Flirting through humor is very powerful but must be utilized carefully, because it can easily backfire. Making your crush laugh can make you appear more likeable while increasing attraction and trust at the same time. When meeting someone new, it is best to leave controversial or dark humor out of the picture. Your humor should be lighthearted. You don't want your crush thinking that you are a bully.
The Social Issues Research Centre wrote a wonderful piece on what social science can teach you about flirting.
In this article, they state, "Judicious use of humour can reduce anxiety and establish a relaxed mood which helps a relationship to develop more rapidly. A slightly risqué joke can help to escalate the level of intimacy in a flirtatious conversation."
Along with touch, you should be careful that your humor is not too aggressive and doesn't offend the special person you are trying to impress.
Opening up
Your body language is a very important factor in your flirting strategy -- just as important as the words that are leaving your mouth. You want your behavior to match the vibe of your works; this is known as congruence.
Fennis and Stel posted an article to the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology titled, "The Pantomime of Persuasion: Fit Between Nonverbal Communication and Influence Strategies" where they share findings on how subjects whose body language matched what the other person was looking for were more successful in courting.
They state how it is more effective to be calm and non-threatening when first meeting a new person. Once the person you are flirting with opens up their body language, you can take that as an opportunity to lean forward, conveying your interest. It is important to keep your chin up and display yourself as confident; no one is going to be interested in someone with lethargic body language. Make sure your body language shows that you are interested in them!
There are many different approaches to flirting, but some of the key components to keep in mind are to be non-invasive and good-natured. Now that you learned the science behind flirting techniques, you might be able to more easily detect when someone is hitting on you!