Valentine's Day is swiftly approaching, and you have less than a week left to shop. Whether you do a quick mall sweep or hit the barren tundra of Target after work, avoid purchasing whatever you see just to save face. Don't want to see the look of disappointment on your significant other's face? Steer clear from the following items unless you truly enjoy "present face."
1. Chocolate or flowers
Yawn! Remember it's the thought that counts, and buying a red heart full of calories or a bouquet of discount roses requires absolutely none at all.
What you think this gift says: "I got you something."
What it actually says: "This was next to the register at Wal-mart."
2. Exercise gear or gym membership
Chances are, if the intended recipient adores working out, they already own everything they need. Don't get a calisthenics DVD set for your girlfriend unless she specifically asks for it. Exercise paraphernalia may otherwise insinuate something. Are you questioning the giftee's physique or weight? Body shapers, diet cookbooks, and scales fall under this category, too. It's just cruel!
What you think this gift says: "I care about your health and well-being."
What it actually says: "You really are packing on the pounds."
3. (Plush or real) animals
Never purchase an animal for a gift, whether the animal is breathing or not. If someone really wants a puppy, bring him/her to a shelter to play with a couple. Allow a bond to form first, and then select a new friend. Maybe you can aid in the adoption fees or with necessary supplies. A pet is a huge responsibility and should not be taken lightly. In the same vein, your adult girlfriend does not need a stuffed gorilla in silky boxers.
What you think this gift says: "This fluffy kitten shows how thoughtful I am."
What it actually says: "I haven't left the stage of high school gift giving."
4. Personal hygiene products
Thanks to whole aisles boasting "gift sets" of soaps and lotions (not to mention stores like Bath & Body Works), we receive at least one personal hygiene product every holiday. Whether it's deodorant or bubble bath, the dullness outranks its usefulness. And unless you do not consistently shower, you can acquire these commodities on your own. No one wants a stockpile of unused Vanilla Bean scented shower gels overtaking his/her bathroom.
What you think this gift says: "I chose a sensible token of my affection in order to be pragmatic."
What it actually says: "I can't keep dating you unless you start showering."
5. Cleaning supplies
It happens every year. Your dad buys your mom a vacuum. She storms off, and he wonders what he did wrong. Cleaning tools or disinfectant sprays always hint at an ulterior motive even if that was not your original intention. Try another palpable option... gift cards.
What you think this gift says: "I appreciate your orderly home and wanted to save you money on these necessary accouterments."
What it actually says: "I am passive aggressive. And your house is dirty."
6. Knives
Shopping for an enthusiastic and novice chef? Why not choose (literally) any other kitchen utensil? Old Viking lore believed bad luck came from gifting knives, because it implies the severing of your relationship. Even beyond Nordic superstition, cutlery might come off as strange and unsettling.
What you think this gift says: "I encourage your culinary endeavors."
What it actually says: "I am creepy."
7. Sexy underwear
You mean well. You really do. No matter what gender you are, picking up sexy underwear for your partner does not always work out the way it does in your head. Oftentimes, it leaves the recipient pondering what they did wrong, feeling inadequate sexually, creating a barrier of awkwardness. Need an alternative? Consider a trip to a department store to choose something together. That way both parties are comfortable with the attire.
What you think this gift says: "We're going to have fun later!"
What it actually says: "I am not satisfied in the bedroom."
Not sure what to buy? Check out our holiday tips to spark some creativity in your gift giving.