Traditionally, the guy would ask a girl out and then plan the first date. Let's take our parents as an example. Chances are they met, your dad asked your mom out, and he planned their first date all by himself - probably took her on a dinner or movie date. That's how dating used to be done.
But what about today? Who should come up with the first date idea? Well, that depends on whom you ask. Everyone seems to have different opinions. Let's have a look at some common dilemmas.
I want her to enjoy where we go, so she should pick the place
Many guys believe that girls are amazing organizers. They can use the internet or ask a friend where to take them. When a guy asks his lady to pick the place, it's because he wants her to enjoy herself… right?
If it's a dinner date, you might worry about choosing a restaurant that your date won't like. Whereas, if it's a movie date, what if she doesn't like the same genres? This is the reason why you might prefer to let the girl plan everything.
- WHAT TO DO: Come up with a general outline and ask her questions about specifics things like what she likes to eat or what she likes to watch. If you present her with a customized first date based on her interests, she will be pleasantly surprised!
I don't want to choose somewhere too expensive, in case he needs to pay
When guys ask their date to choose the location of their night out, a lot of women panic. Is it a test? If a guy has asked you out, he usually intends to pay the bill, which means it's important to find somewhere that's not too expensive. Unless he wants to show off. If you pick somewhere cheap, will he think you are cheap?
Not to mention it still needs to be somewhere romantic, or he might think that you're uninterested. This is a tough one that takes a lot of thought to get right.
- WHAT TO DO: Give him several options of places that you would like. Choose a couple expensive locations and a couple cheap but quality options, so he can choose what fits his budget.
She will have better ideas than me, so she should choose the date
Many men prefer to let the woman pick, because they believe that girls are born planners and will have more original date ideas than they will. However, your date can read into this further. She might feel like you are immature or just not that interested. Or worse, that you're a boring person, because you don't care where you go or what you do.
- WHAT TO DO: Instead of putting all the pressure on her, why don’t you plan it together? Run some ideas by her and ask her if she has anything she’d like to do. Isn’t it better if both parties enjoy themselves?
I love "a man with a plan"
Have you ever wondered why women don't usually make the first move? Some women are concerned how they’ll look if they do. Others prefer "a man with a plan" who takes charge and leads them. This is how they measure a man's confidence and assertiveness. Also, a lot of women find this more exciting.
- WHAT TO DO: If you like your guy to plan the date, help him out. Tell him about your dream date or suggest something you’ve always wanted to do. When you do this, your man can be confident in whatever he plans.
As you can see, when it comes to who should come up with the first date idea, there are a lot of factors to think about. When it comes to modern dating, who should come up with the first date idea is completely dependent upon the couple. If your partner is having trouble, suggest something that you like to do. Planning dates together can be fun as well, and how you work out these early dates can set the tone for a co-operative relationship that fulfills both of your needs.