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How to Avoid Coming Off as Thirsty

It's common for people to be head over heels for someone they are attracted to. However, this expression of love must not come off as an act of desperation, or you will just scare the other person away. If this happens to you a lot, brace yourself for what lies ahead. Analyze your behavior, keep a check on yourself and make sure that you don't come off as too thirsty.

How to Avoid Being Thirsty

What does it mean to be thirsty? Someone who is too eager to date where only attention will quench that thirst. A thirsty person is consistently and deliberately fishing for compliments. So what can you do to not come off that way? Here's some tips.

1. Don't go crazy with the texting

If you have recently started chatting and haven't even met properly, don't bombard their phone with text messages. It's sweet that you two are connecting over online conversations and sharing moments of joy, but it's too early to text continuously. You have to take it slow -- especially if the person on the other end is not texting you without prompting. If they are unavailable or not replying, give them time and wait for the reply.

Distract yourself; you have better things to do than wait around for their reply. Spend your time doing other things to maintain a balance. Also, if you make them wait, they might miss you. But if you are available 24/7, they might take you for granted or doubt your intentions.

Another important tip is to observe the way your date is replying and respond similarly. For example, don't act too desperate to meet them until you get the same kind of response. Get to know each other and keep the conversation light hearted. You texts shouldn't make the other person uncomfortable.  

2. Stop fishing for compliments

When you fish for flattery to boost your ego, you aren't seeing things from the other person's point of view. Will they get irritated if the only way to interact is by complimenting you? Will they feel like it's a one-sided relationship? Usually fishing for compliments means you say something negative about yourself in order to coerce the other person to refute it. For example, you'll say you look fat, so they can tell you how skinny you look. However, this just succeeds in making you look insecure, insincere and desperate.

3. Don't go overboard in real life 

If you are going to meet the other person for the first time after messaging online, hold your horses. Don't do or say anything that's simply too much. Be sure that you are on the same page and bide your time without getting physical. For the first few dates, it's usually less about the physical interaction and more about getting to know each other. Enjoy their company and talk about everything you want to.

Take it slow if you want a future with that person. It's important to make the first kiss special. Let things proceed organically and enjoy the moment when it comes.

4. Disengage occasionally

Occasionally, take out time for your family, friends and loved ones. Stay involved with things that you usually do. Don't abandon everyone for the possibility of romance. If you neglect your friends, they won't stick around. And if you indulge in an active social life, you won't fall into bad habits like texting too much or being clingy. 

5. Stop lying and trying too hard

Just because you want a beautiful future together, it doesn't mean that you have to agree to everything they say and like everything they do. Don't be afraid to express your opinion whenever it seems important. Don't pretend to like things that you hate. And more importantly, don't embellish the truth. It will make you look bad when the truth finally comes out.

You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. And if you are trying too hard to be someone else, your partner will not be falling for you but for the persona you created.

Don't be someone you're not. Feel free to point out things that you don't like while being polite. Healthy discussions will only help you understand each other well. 

Contributor, May 28, 2019

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