You get a notification on your phone saying that you got a new match. You go to their profile and message them hey, what's up.
Now you're staring at your phone with a blank look in your eyes waiting for them to respond.
With online dating, you only get one chance to make a first impression. Simply saying hey to a new match oftentimes does not elicit a response. Here's a guide to help increase the chances that what you say will lead to meaningful conversation.
1. Read their profile
Read over their profile to see if there are any common interests or anything interesting about them that you would want to know more about. Maybe they're really into dancing or the recent Bollywood movie. Looking into their profile and their interests shows that you're not just interested in their appearance, but their personality as well. Look for something interesting and comment on it. Finding commonalities helps spark interest and further the conversation.
2. It can wait
Nothing is weirder than receiving a message from a complete stranger at 2 A.M. Wait until a reasonable time to send that message. A good time would be around noon, so they can answer during their lunch break or after work hours. Also, don't message them the moment you match as that can come off as desperate.
3. Come up with something witty to say
There is a fine line between saying something witty and something that's downright corny. Don't start with a pick-up line (too generic) or anything vulgar. This is the part that takes work. Make it sound personalized; everyone wants to feel like they're special. When you come up with a response tailored to their interest and/or sense of humor, it's a lot more likely to get a response than something that sounds rehearsed and unoriginal.
4. Learn something new
Do they have something interesting in their profile that you would like to know about? Ask! This is a great opportunity to learn about them. If they write on their profile that they're an aspiring actor, ask what roles they recently auditioned for and why they're passionate about acting. If they mention that they were born elsewhere, ask when they left, what they miss most about the place and why they moved.
5. Talk about yourself (to an extent)
People will say to not talk about yourself, because it can come off as arrogant or self-centered. There are ways to talk about yourself without sounding like you're only on a dating website, because you can't date yourself. When you do talk about yourself, do it in a way that seems natural and not like you're just waiting for your turn. If the topic is about movies, talk about the time you saw a certain actor at your favorite restaurant.
6. Just GIF It
If you can't think of something to say, send a GIF. GIFs are useful, because they are able to demand more attention than text. You'll earn bonus points if it relates to something they're interested in.
7. Don't be aggressive
We all know how frustrating it is to be left on read. You came up with the perfect thing to say, and you don't even get a response. However, if they don't reply to your message, you're not going to change their mind by spamming them with question marks or increasingly aggressive messages. Who knows? Maybe they might actually be busy. One thing is for sure, coming off as aggressive and clingy will not increase your chances that they will respond back.
8. Ask about plans
If the conversation is going well, or after a few days of messaging back and forth, ask if they have plans over the weekend -- but not in a way that comes of stalkerish. Ask in a way that shows interest in what they have going on. Talk about your own plans, and if they sound interested, invite them to take part.
9. Be yourself
Lastly, be yourself. At the end of the day you should trust your feelings and say what you think you need to say. Being genuine and engaging. Don't overthink every detail of the conversation. Don't pretend to know things that you don't just because you think that will make them like you.