If you love it let it go. If it returns to you cherish it if not it was never truly yours. - Proverb
This proverb has been derived from the quote: "If you love someone, set them free". If they come back, they are yours; if they don't, they never were.” accredited to the American writer Richard Bach, this quote is often used in context of relationships and moving on in life. People often believe that true love can never be forced on someone. So, when you experience true love, you tend to understand that you can’t make anyone stay in your life against their will. If they come back to you even after getting a choice to leave, that means you both are meant to be together. Otherwise, you must make peace with the fact that they don’t wish to be with you.
The most beautiful thing about love is that it’s completely unpredictable. You don’t know when or how you’re destined to meet someone and fall for them. However, things don’t always pan out as you want. Even after finding a person worthy of your love, you may end up being alone.
The other person might not reciprocate with similar emotions or they might leave, bringing an end to the relationship. So, what should you do in such a situation? Do you really let them go believing that they will come back, or do you make them stay? There is no specific answer to this question, but you can find a solution. Here’s what you can do.
Handling rejection
The most relevant application of the aforementioned quote can be found in handling rejection. When you confess your feelings and the other person doesn’t reciprocate, you need to let them go. Don’t ask them to stay and don’t try to gain their sympathy for how bad you feel. You may want to tell them how heartbroken you are but staying with someone out of pity isn’t a good reason to start a relationship.
On the contrary, handle the rejection with maturity and allow them to make their choice. When they go away, they might think about you or even miss you. Eventually, if they realize that they like you, they will want to come back. However, if someone has clearly stated that they are with someone else or they don’t want to be with you, don’t expect any miracle. Move on and find your happiness in other things in life.
Ending a relationship
If your partner wants to breakup with you, it’s important that both of you mutually decide what’s best for the two of you. Although you can’t ask them to change their decision, you can still try your best to mend the relationship. Try to find out the reason behind it and resolve issues as much as you can.
If you can change something that led to this situation, do your best. But be truthful and honest. Don’t give them false hopes that things will be alright just to make them stay. Because if you do, it will further strain the bond you share with them and it may even end the possibility of you two being friends with each other.
Letting go vs holding onto someone
When life gives you a choice between holding onto someone and letting them go, your natural instincts will tell you that you must not lose your beloved partner at any cost. Well, maybe it doesn’t feel right but the correct way is to let your partner decide what they want. The tighter you hold onto someone, the quicker they would want to slip away from you.
So, even if you want to make them stay, don’t do it at the cost of your self-respect. Don’t be clingy and give them space to decide. You will realize that no matter how important it feels to hold onto someone, the wiser thing to do is to let them go for your inner peace.
Do people really come back?
There is hardly any person who doesn’t regret an action or re-considers a decision. At some point we all feel that we could have done things differently. Feelings like going back to an ex or confessing to a crush are quite common. In fact, if given a chance, everyone would have things that they would have changed.
In other words, people do feel the need to go back to someone they love or value. It all depends on the situation and the kind of bond they share with you. If it’s something they can get over with, they might just adapt to their new life but if it’s something special and unique, they would definitely come back to you. It’s all about how you make them feel. The important thing is that you must not put your life on hold for someone to return. There are a lot of ways to find happiness and stay positive.
How to let go with ease?
Losing someone you love forever is a scary feeling. Nobody wants to experience it. Although it’s never easy to let someone go, here are some tips that might help:
- Let it all out: If you are having trouble letting someone go because they might not come back to you, take a moment and acknowledge how you feel about it. Does it make you angry, sad, or scared? Whatever is the emotion, don’t suppress it. Find someone to talk to- maybe a close friend or even a counsellor. Then share with them as to what you are feeling and let it all out.
- Be respectful: When someone tells you that they wish to leave, try to be respectful and respond with dignity. Don’t express your anger in front of the person you are letting go because you might say or do things that you will regret later. No matter how bad you feel, these emotions will not last forever. Eventually, it will all be fine, and you may find your happiness somewhere else.
- Do your best: When we say let someone go if you love them, it doesn’t mean that you have to give up all your hopes. You can still do your best and show the other person that you are worthy of their love. Letting go means you stop taking control of the relationship and let the other person choose. So, if you want things to work, do everything in your capacity and leave the result to fate.
- Keep yourself occupied: It may not be easy to distract yourself when you are going through a tough phase in a relationship but there are several ways through which you can distract yourself. Try to be productive and find things that interest you. Initially, it may not be effective but after a while you can make progress and think less and less about your partner.
- Meet new people: After taking some space and letting your feelings out, go back to meeting new people. Don’t rush to date someone new but socialize more and more. The more you get to know new people, the easier it will be to move on. If you don’t let go of old memories, how would you create space for new ones?