Ghosting has become a commonality in the modern dating world, but it's not a new concept. The idea of ghosting has been around since the start of digital communication. Whether it's out of convenience, awkwardness or even forgetfulness, everyone has been a ghoster at some point in time.
So, what exactly is ghosting?
According to Urban Dictionary, ghosting is "the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date." Ghosting doesn't always have to apply to dating; you can ghost a friend, co-workers and even your parents.
Essentially, ghosting means to cut someone off without any explanation or follow-up, the literal act of being a ghost. How can you determine what situations are okay to ghost someone?
1. They make you uncomfortable
If you connect with someone online who is constantly trying to meet in person, asking questions that are too personal or bringing up things you never mentioned, it might be a good idea to disappear into thin air. They clearly have boundary issues, and it's not your responsibility to fix them.
The same applies to meeting someone in person. If they ask inappropriate questions or are overly "grabby" on the first date, run the other way. Always trust your instincts if they tell you that someone is bad news.
2. They are being clingy
This is the classic example of when it's okay to ghost someone. If someone you've been talking to always want to know what you're doing, messages you nonstop at work or gets mad if you don’t respond to them right away, maybe it's time to cut them off.
It's completely normal for someone to occasionally check in, but there are limits. If you've only been casually talking, and they are treating it like a long-term relationship, that's a pretty good sign that you aren't on the same page.
3. Things aren't working out (in the worst way possible)
This is an example where you might want to ghost someone to avoid unwanted awkwardness. If the person you are dating doesn't turn out to be who you thought they were or turns out to be a horrible person overall, then it might be appropriate to cut off all communications. This is a common occurrence nowadays as ghosting has become an acceptable way of avoiding the potential awkwardness of ending a relationship.
Imagine you meet someone online, and you really hit it off. A few weeks into dating, you find out that everything they told you was a lie. What should you do? You could talk about it and end things there, or you can just ghost them and avoid any awkwardness.
4. You're not the only one
It's acceptable to date multiple people -- as long as they all know about it. However, if your potential partner tells you that you're the only person they're seeing, and you find out they're lying, ghost them. If they wasted your time tricking you into thinking that the relationship was exclusive, then they don't deserve to hear back from you again.
5. You have too much going on
Sometimes, we have too much going on in our lives to be in a relationship. Whether you are starting a new career or dealing with personal issues, managing a relationship can be too much to take on. While this may sound selfish, at the end of the day, you should be the most important person in your life.
If you don't have time for the commitments and the emotional obligations that come with a relationship, ghost away.
6. You're just not feeling it
It's a pretty common situation. You have someone who is clearly interested in you, but you just don't have it in you to let them down. Maybe you just don't find them attractive, or you just don't have the emotional availability to be in a relationship right now.
How do you let this person know you're not interested without hurting them? This is the most common example of ghosting. Oftentimes, people will not ghost out of malice but to avoid hurting others without leading them on.
While ghosting is a bit immature, there are situations where ghosting is acceptable. People have various reasons to ghost someone, and almost everyone has been ghosted in the past. At the end of the day, when used in the right situations, ghosting can be an effective means of dealing with an unwanted relationship.