If you are single and looking for a potential partner, you're likely familiar with anxieties of dating. Most of us feel a little nervous when starting a new relationship. It is quite normal to struggle to break the ice. It is also natural to wonder whether the person you are dating likes you in return. At times, however, this social anxiety, shyness or fear of rejection ends up holding you back. It prevents you from having the love life you want. Reduce and control those feelings with the following tips.
1. Admit your anxiety
Many people harbor deep insecurities about their looks -- but looks aren't everything. If there is something about your looks that you are unhappy about, it is within your power to do something about it. Things like weight are within your power to change, but you shouldn't feel like you have to change for someone else. So, identify where your anxiety comes from and address it. Feeling confident before your date will make you confident during the date.
2. Don't hide your anxiety
If you find yourself feeling anxious on a date, don't try to hide it. Keeping your feelings a secret will only make you more anxious and will distract you from enjoying the situation at hand. Although you might be afraid to, share your feelings with your date. Telling your date that you're feeling nervous will ease your mind, and your date will probably respond positively to your disclosure... especially if they feel the same way.
3. Practice some relaxation techniques
In new relationships, dating someone new can be nerve-wracking. You don't know this person, what they're looking for or how your values line up. That will result in a lot of anticipatory anxiety. By learning and practicing relaxation techniques, you will be able to calm down before embarking on your date.
Some relaxation techniques we enjoy:
- Abdominal breathing, also known as breath focus
- Body scan, or progressive muscle relaxation
- Mindful meditation
- Guided imagery visualization
4. Have a positive but realistic perspective
If you are worried your date will be critical of you, remember that they are probably just as nervous and hoping it will go well. Stay positive. A first date is about first impressions. It's safe to stay that a successful first date should be short and set you up nicely for the second.
If it's your first date, and you don't like the other person's attitude, never express disappointment or get angry at them. This means there's someone better out there for you.
5. Focus on having fun
We all know going on a date brings a lot of pressure. If you're not having fun, it means you are not enjoying your date. If you need to, pretend you're hanging out with an old friend. Discuss casual topics like your hobbies, interests and funny experiences. When you approach dating as an opportunity to have fun with someone new, you will be calm, relaxed and ready for a good time.
6. Focus on the other person
Really pay attention to what your potential partner is saying. Listen to their words. Read their body language, expressions and eye contact. Focus on communicating with them. Remember to keep your conversation normal. Don't get stuck on your own thoughts or opinions. Stay outside of yourself and ignore your internal reactions. This helps you to engage more, because you are less preoccupied with your own anxiety.
7. Learn something new from them
Everyone has a unique perspective to share. Random strangers and romantic partners all have something interesting to teach. What can you learn fro this person? Be curious about their lives.
Also, offer something about yourself that you particularly like as well. Start with a light and flirty discussion and allow them to be curious about you too! This will want them to schedule a second date.