Dating Tips > Culture > 9 Reasons Why You Fall for the Wrong People

9 Reasons Why You Fall for the Wrong People

You're probably reading this, thinking about your next relationship, because you're currently dating the wrong person. Are you stuck in a huge morass with no clue how to get out of it? Again and again, you're a magnet for attracting the wrong people.

Always Dating the Wrong People

Here are nine reasons why you're addicted to bad relationships and how to break free from the vicious cycle.

1. You don't feel like you deserve better

If you lack self-respect, you'll end up making a wealth of bad dating choices. You'll choose to date someone who's not really right for you, because you don't respect yourself enough to choose someone better. Don't let anyone make you question your sense of self. Most importantly, love yourself and respect yourself!

You'll always go for the wrong people if you don't think that you can find someone better. Or even worse, if you don't think that you deserve someone better. Until you learn that you deserve the absolute best, you won't find the one... or anyone for that matter!

2. The single life scares the hell out of you

When you're not in a relationship, you feel lost and have no idea what to do with yourself. Even if you don't realize it, you think you need someone by your side to feel complete. This forces you to run towards the first person that you see, and that person is normally not the best choice.

3. You choose a partner based on personality alone

Personality is something which should be taken to consideration while dating, but not the only thing you should be looking at. You should never date someone who's incredibly handsome and fun to be around, if they lie, cheat and treat you badly. Chemistry is important but not the end-all, be-all.

5. Real commitment scares you

Some people don't even realize that commitment scares them. If you notice that you begin to feel uncomfortable in a relationship when things start to get serious, or you self sabotage things before they can get serious, then this is probably true for you. Before you can find a happy relationship, you'll first need to learn to overcome this fear.

6. You have a definitive "type"

Does your dating list consist of almost identical people? Not just physically, but personality-wise? Don't put yourself in a box. Just because you always date unemployed musicians or quiet bookworms doesn't mean that you can't fall for someone on the opposite side of the spectrum.

Learn to be open to everyone. Maybe someone will surprise you with how well they fit you.

7. The future is one giant question mark

You don't know what you want in life, so you have no idea what you need in a partner. It is important for you to be clear about your future, so you know what kind of person you would like to attract.

Explore yourself from within. If you're just floating through life, you'll always attract the wrong type of person. No one else can tell you who you are and what you want, so don't allow another person to control these things in your life.

8. You fall for emotionally unavailable people

You're constantly heartbroken, because you're seeing someone who is:

  • Cheating on their partner and keeping you a secret
  • Interested in sex only, with no emotional investment
  • Only texting and never making plans in real life

No matter what they say, you'll always end up as the second option. You're worth much more than that!

9. You invalidate your feelings and emotions

In previous relationships, you felt like something was wrong but didn't trust yourself enough to do something about it. Trust your emotions. How you feel is valid even if you doubt yourself.

You should take what the other person says and feels into consideration in order to respect both sides, but feel free to decide for yourself. You don't need anyone's approval, and you don't owe an explanation. If a situation feels wrong, leave.

Contributor, April 25, 2019

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