When your heart has been broken, it's hard to think rationally. You don't want to eat, you don't want to sleep; all you know is that you'd do anything to make the pain stop. So, you try to move on. You may find comfort in the first person that speaks kindly to you, and you start going on dates because it's convenient and your heart doesn't ache as much when you're with them, but now you feel an uneasy feeling in your stomach. You've never felt this way before, but you and your partner did break up just a few short weeks ago and you haven't been single in three years. Are you jumping into a new relationship too soon? Here's how you know.
1. You're still bringing up your ex
One telltale sign that you are jumping into a new relationship too soon is if you are still talking about the one that got away. Just like a wound, your heart needs time to heal. You can't expect the cut to be 100% or even 70% better the next day, depending on the length of your relationship and how you felt about your partner, it could take months to get over a breakup. Give your heart the time it needs to heal.
2. You're clingy and are constantly texting your new beau
Whether you've just come out of a three-year relationship, or you've gone from relationship to relationship your entire adult life, you aren't giving yourself enough time to get to know yourself. Chances are you are accustomed to being in a relationship and don't know what it's like to be without one, so, you feel the need to cling to your new partner and text them nonstop. If you have trust issues or were in a situation where your significant other was unfaithful, you may be more inclined to constantly message them to find out what they're doing, who they're with and where they are. Give yourself time to heal and rebuild yourself. It may be painful and lonely at first, but it's the first step to getting to know who you really are and what you're really looking for and need in a partner. Have fun and try to embrace the single life!
3. "He's Nothing Like My Ex"
Dating someone that is the opposite of your last partner isn't always a good thing and is usually a relationship that is found too soon after a break up. It's important to consider that each person, no matter how different, comes with their own set of flaws. Chances are because they don't have the same flaws as your ex, you feel you're dating. Rebounds aren't always right after a relationship has ended, while there may be a significant amount of time in between relationships, if there are still unresolved feelings months after a break up, the relationship you pursue after your breakup could still be a rebound.
When we are on the rebound, we typically see the 'next great thing' as more attractive in a rebound situation than we normally would," says Dr. Degges-White chair and professor of counseling and counselor education at Northern Illinois University. "Don't fool yourself into thinking that the superficial differences signify a perfect match just because the new person isn't 'just like your ex.'"
4. You're Constantly Posting Photos Together
Spamming the internet with photos of you and your partner, may seem like something a couple does when they are in love, but when you jump in to a relationship too soon, it gives off the impression that you are trying to convince the world of the love and happiness you both share. If you do want this relationship to work, try focusing on developing a true connection with your new partner, rather than proving your love to the world.
If you've experienced a break up with someone you're truly committed to, healing is going to take some time. Rushing into a new relationship only temporarily masks the pain, but without taking the time to heal and get to know yourself and what you need, it will never be the right time to jump back into the dating pool. Take a time out from dating, embrace being single and have fun. Who knows, you may just stumble across your life partner along the way.