No one wants to be alone or feel lonely, generally people's goals are done to bring them happiness. However, a big obstacle for people to be happy is that feeling of loneliness. It is a universal feeling that becomes a driving force in peoples lives. Whether you are looking for love or just friendship it is all to combat that terrible feeling. Unfortunately, it's becoming more and more common for people to feel alone. According to Harvard Business Review, reports of loneliness have doubled in the last 50 years. A survey of roughly 20,000 people done by Cigna, revealed that about half felt like they were alone. How is this possible in the age of social media where people are more connected than ever before? Feeling alone is not always just physically not being there with other people, a lot of it is the type of relationships that we develop with people as we age. More people feel like they can confide in less people now more than ever. According to that Cigna survey, one in five American report rarely or never feeling close to others and two in five sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful. People also lean towards the digital world for that connection they are lacking in the real world however it turns out that the longer you spend on social media generally the lonelier you will feel. So how can we feel better about our relationships and feel less alone. How do we help ease our fears of loneliness? Well, there are some steps that you can take to get over these feelings.
Speak with strangers
It may seem like an anxiety inducing mess to do but more often than not people find that a conversation with a stranger can help your feelings of loneliness. According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, two psychologists, Juliana Schroeder and Nicholas Epley, explored why strangers rarely every interact with each other. The Hypothesis was that people either enjoyed solitude more than interacting or they misjudged the consequences of interacting. So, they decided to have Chicago commuters talk to people sitting near them on their ride to work. In the beginning everyone thought the results would be negative, but it turns out the people who did speak to the strangers felt better about themselves as did the unsuspecting passengers on the receiving end of the experiment. It turns out connecting with people is a pleasurable experience in many circumstances. And you can improve your momentary well being by having a conversation with a stranger who reciprocates your enthusiasm.
Go offline
A lot of the problems with relationships these days, friendships and significant others, has to do the obsession with communication online. Face to face contact gives us a boost in endorphins and physical health. According to Susan Pinker getting together for social events like dinner parties or game nights keep our relationships strong and healthy. The problem is simply that we mistake the effectiveness online interaction with real world interaction. When in reality it is much healthier to have those face to face real world connections with someone. It is only recommended to use online interaction when it is actually impossible to be with someone face to face, like if your friend or partner moves across the country. It may be only possible to talk to them online. Even still it is important to make plans to see them in person as that is how you can continue a strong relationship.
Be Neighborly
When you are living near a lot people it is important to at least get to know your neighbors. There are two types of relationships according to Psychology today. "strong ties" and weak ties". Even though one may seem more important than the other they are both important for your overall well-being. Neighbors generally fall under the weak ties category. In a recent survey, a third of American said they never interact with their neighbors while only 20 percent regularly spend time with them. Compare this to the 70s when 30 percent reported spending time with their neighbors at least twice a week. There have been other studies shown that higher interaction within your neighborhood lowers the risk of heart attack. So why not invite your neighbors over every now and then for a nice cup of coffee. You'll feel better in more ways than one!
Help someone else
Something you can do that might just simply make you feel better is helping out someone. A friend you don't see very often or even just an acquaintance may need help with any number of things. If you feel bad, try shifting your energy away from you and to someone else and that may show you that you aren't so lonely anymore! Not only will that person be appreciative, but you'll probably get closer with that person as a result. Giving you someone you can always reach out to in times of loneliness.
Hopefully these steps are helpful as being lonely in todays world is getting more and more common using dating websites and apps can be a good way to help connect with new people and find your partner. Just make sure you get right to the point and meet your match in person! There is no substitute for a date in real life. Good luck!