Is it worth it to flirt via text messages? Studies show that millenials especially prefer texting to other forms of communication. According to OpenMarket, 75% choose it over calling, because it doesn't disrupt their schedule.
In a technology-based society, odds are you'll spend more time texting someone than talking to them face-to-face. The main advantage is the ability to really think about your response, and you should aspire to be playful, witty, and charming. But because it's easier to stay in constant contact, texting introduces another problem. You don't want to turn your potential partner off before you hang out by seeming needy or annoying.
Here are three simple statements that anyone can use to spark an exchange:
1. "Heyy"/"Heyyy"
Everyone knows that the extra Ys in a simple "hey" are the easiest way to flirt. A simple text like this communicates interest without seeming overly clingy. You can also use it to gauge responsiveness.
2. "Looking forward to seeing you on _____"
Do you already have another date planned? This is a great text to send to let them know that you are excited. It doesn't require a response, but you'll receive one if the attraction is mutual.
TIP: Don't send this to someone you have not made plans with, or you'll come off as passive aggressive!
3. "I wanted to text you today, but I wasn't sure what to say."
Honesty is the best policy. Don't know what to talk about? Tell them exactly that! It could jumpstart a discussion about how serious you are about each other. It also says, "Hey, I was thinking about you."
What's important about these statements is that they're open-ended but not profoundly difficult. You're more likely to receive an answer if you personalize them. For example, if an important event happened the previous day, ask them how it went! It shows you paid attention in a previous convo.
Once you start chatting, avoid being predictable. After initiating with one of the comments above, reveal something unexpected. Not only will this grab their attention, but it leaves them hankering for more. There is a certain rush when you receive a message from someone you're crushing on… It can get addicting, so be careful not to overdo it. You don't want that person to lose interest before the first outing!
Keep them guessing by maintaining the mystery. How do you do that? While long pauses can be mistaken for apathy, vague acknowledgement in a timely fashion piques curiosity. Share your thoughts, but filter them through minimalism. No one wants to read a novel sized message, and withholding the details give you a topic to further talk about when you go out together.
Further control the conversation by listening. Don't ignore a comment, because you have a different topic on your agenda. Would you do that in real life?
Dish out some compliments -- but sincere ones only. Remember that anything you say can and will be held against you. Where a genuinely sweet text will be shown to friends and earn you brownie points from the get-go, fake flattery may prompt them to ignore you. You can tease -- but not too hard. Sarcasm and teasing are easily mistaken for rudeness.
Don't want to sound needy and insecure? Subtlety is your ally. Steer clear of these common blunders:
1. "WYD"
Instead of this invasive text (which means "what you doin'?"), tell your new beau know when something reminds you of them. For example, "I made an omelet this morning, and it was almost as good as the ones we ate last week."
2. "???"
If your potential significant other doesn't respond immediately, question marks are the worst way to broach the subject. If you haven't yet made it a habit to text every day, there's no way to determine a normal response time. Wait until you advance the relationship before you expect daily texting.
3. "whos that person in your (social media) picture?"
Put your jealousy aside. It might be a family member or a platonic friend.
4. "miss u"
Never start with this even if that's exactly how you feel. This is a red flag that you are a stage five clinger, and no one wants to date (let alone chat with) that person.
Never double-text. Double-texting is where the other person doesn't answer as quickly as you like, and you send a follow up text. Unresponsiveness is not necessarily a cause for alarm. The other person might be genuinely busy! At the same time, take a hint. Long silences as well as one-word-answers points to their indifference.
You don't always have to react. If it doesn't warrant a response, don't give one. Leave the ball in their court, and you might be pleasantly surprised. Texting is habit-forming, and you'll know if they want more.
Care about your spelling and grammar. Spell out the whole phrase, and save abbreviations for texts to your friends. Doesn't the person on the receiving end deserve the extra effort?
Use emoticons sparingly. Think of them as the cherry on top of an ice cream sundae and not a full-fledged sentence.
However, the most significant advice we can give you is to be yourself, because that's who will be expected for the rest of the relationship. When you overthink, you invite self-doubt to the party. Never spend more than one minute thinking up something to say, or you're forcing it.