Trying to get over a breakup is difficult. We all have our own way of dealing, but some of us have a little more difficulty than others. You go through stages of sorrow... sitting in your feelings, eating ice cream out of the carton and watching Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge on repeat. But if you get stuck in the same routine, it never seems to end.
Because each relationship is different, the healing process is also different for each person. Some may break up and are at the bar dancing with their friends in two hours. Others wallow in their sadness for months.
No matter what your preferred form of healing, we're here to tell you that it's okay. As long as you aren't putting yourself or others in harms way, any form of healing is acceptable.
1. Be honest with yourself
When I'm going through a breakup, I try to be very honest with how I'm feeling and why the relationship needed to end. I'm not saying to be harsh on yourself, but the more honest you are with your emotions, the better. Clean breaks are a lot less painful.
2. Be considerate of their feelings
They may have just broken your heart, but they are going through a break up too. I know it's hard to see it that way when the wound is fresh. Write a pros and cons list after your break up to get your emotions in order. It helps you work out what you want to say, rather than just yelling whatever comes to your mind. My advice is to start with a positive comment and list your reasons. Leave it on a nice note by thanking the person for the things you learned and the memories you shared.
3. Find some peace and quiet
Last time I went through a break up, I backpacked by myself for three solid days, and it really helped clear my head. You don't need to go this hardcore. Something as little as light hiking or a bike ride could do the trick. Time away from society to be alone with your thoughts without needing a smile on will help. You can go through the all the stages of anger, guilt, frustration and sadness alone.
4. Cry... a lot
I've found that if you force yourself to cry, it clears your mind and acts as a catharsis. You're mourning the death of a relationship. For some, it could be a big part of your life "dying," so it's okay to mourn.
5. Talking to a sibling to understand the break up more
It doesn't matter if you have an older or younger sibling, either way it'll help. Your older siblings will obviously be more knowledgable, since they'll have experience with break ups. However, younger siblings can be more honest; they will give it to you straight without sparing your feelings. I find it more helpful than talking to my friends who don't know any more than I do.
6. Take out frustration by going to the gym or on a run
When I'm going through something that stresses me out, I like to physically exhaust myself. Whether it's lifting weights, going on a long run or doing sprints, I feel that physically challenging my body and channeling my emotions through physical pain helps me cope with heartache. It helps you blow off some steam and relieve the stress and tension associated with breaking up. It also helps you sleep at night and is good for your body, so it's really a win-win.
7. This may sound a bit strange, but talk to your ex's mom
We had a really good relationship and were really close. She knows a lot about our relationship and was able to give me her honest opinion. It was really helpful in the healing process. This definitely isn't for everyone, and I've been in relationships were I haven't been as close with my boyfriend's mom. This time was different; we just clicked.
There are many different ways to process your emotions, and it's important to remember that there is no wrong way to deal with them -- unless it's illegal! If you don't have a set way of processing, feel free to try out any of the above and find out which helps you most. It could be a combination of two or three or none of at all. Everyone's different, and there won't be one answer for all break ups.
Tell us if you've tried any of the above (and what works for you) in the comment section below!